Today's pieces of fluff need a new pair of dark socks (navy or black please)
Friendless as a child and now as an adult, The Mill often retreats to a canorous world of make-believe. Here, The Mill is smart enough to understand why many believe that M-theory unites all five string theories and perhaps supplants them; Carinthian Blondvieh cows give lectures on the significance of repetition in Eugène Ionesco's classic piece of absurdist theatre, La Cantatrice Chauve; and Steven Gerrard plays tiki-taka. As regular readers who "enjoy" this column will have surmised long ago, this experience in the spurious is indeed the main reason The Mill is here early in the morning tapping out all the latest goings-on in the world of football transfers and with that, we are off to Manchester.
There, Sir Alex Ferguson has £100m worth of used banknotes neatly divided into stacks of £50s, £20s, £10s and £5s and he is going to spend it all on buying the sort of players that will allow him to come second to Manchester City yet again next season. Top of his list is the trick filled, lubricious Lille midfielder Eden Hazard. But the Scot is not the only one rolling his eyes across the crowded dance floor at the Belgian – the Manchester City manager, Roberto Mancini, is also interested.
When Ferguson fails to land the Belgian, because Hazard is more interested in the "project" at Manchester City, he will divert his attentions and funds in the direction of Fernando Llorente, Luka Modric, Nicolás Gaitán or Shinji Kagawa. To balance the books, the Scot will drive former goal grabbers Federico Macheda, Dimitar Berbatov and Michael Owen to somewhere deep into the countryside, tell them to get out of the car and drive off lickety-split without an ounce of guilt.
Sunderland's Stéphane Sessègnon insists he is not looking to leave behind the delights that Wearside has to offer a young man in his prime. "I don't feel that my work is finished here. It's true when I first came here it was hard to get used to the style but now I like the Premier League and think I have improved. I've got no problem with life at Sunderland," he said before unlatching the back door, slipping off his heavy shoes and sneaking out quietly and thumbing a lift in the direction of Paris St Germain.
Meanwhile, in a move that will surely give a significant boost to Liverpool's hopes of regaining their status as the biggest club on Merseyside, Dirk Kuyt looks to be on his merry way to the Free and Hanseatic City of Hamburg. Kuyt has a year left on his contract with Liverpool but the Dutchman is set to be swooned by the bleached-bearded Lothario that is Thorsten Fink, a man who looks like he spends his weekends in front of a wind machine recreating classic Take That videos wearing nothing more than a pair of dungarees and a I-can't-believe-this-has-ended-like-this-when-we-had-so-much-going-for-us look. "He has class, and he is also a fighter. There is nothing more that needs to be said about the quality of this player," alleged Fink of Kuyt. More good news for Liverpool fans comes in the form of the imminent signing of Clearasil-skinned striker Luuk de Jong.
Soon to be patronised by pundits Southampton have experienced the most embarrassing snub since, eh, well, ever, when Celtic's Gary Hooper said he would rather stay in the EuroDisney League and be knocked out in the third-round of qualification for the Champions League to either Panathinaikos or Odense than take a dance around the maypole in the Premier League with Nigel Adkins's side. "I have two years left on my current contract, I am scoring goals and I'm loving my football. There is a big chance for us to play Champions League football next season and that has been an ambition of mine for a long time," pronounced Hooper with the straightest of faces. Read More
انسخ الكود التالى و ضعه فى موقعك او مدونتك.
