Today's nonsense is thrilled to be back
You're back at work, and desperately miserable, so in sympathy we're getting straight down to business with a no-frills Mill. Napoli are showing an interest in Everton left back Leighton Baines. They're looking for a replacement for Andrea Dossena who – Liverpool fans may need to read this back a few times – is a target for Milan. Manchester United are keeping tabs on the situation, with £20m in their hot little mitts, ready to scupper the deal. To clarify, before any United supporter has a thumping coronary, they're looking to scupper the Baines deal. The Baines deal.
Tim Cahill could leave Everton for some unspecified outfit in Saudi Arabia. "I am a massive fan of the Middle East," he has announced, his optometrist advising him to say anything, no matter how ridiculously transparent, to get the deal done and stop those petrodollars flashing in his eyes.
Gylfi Sigurdsson would sign permanently for Swansea City as planned, and all that, but oh dear, he can't find a pen, and now his old boss Brendan Rodgers has moved to Liverpool. "It's unclear at this moment where I will play," he insisted, before adding with a Cahillian flourish: "Liverpool are a big club with a glorious history." Unclear, you say.
It's not all bad news for Swansea, though. Dennis Bergkamp, on the first rung of the coaching ladder at Ajax, is in the frame for the job Rodgers vacated. This will presumably necessitate a change in the Welsh club's nickname from Swanselona to Swanjax, a very decent fit if one uses the pronunciation of the Dutch outfit's name in strict accordance with Official 1970s UK Ignorance Guidelines.
Joe Cole will be staying at Liverpool. That's according to Lille boss Rudi Garcia, the Dave Whelan de nos jours. "The new staff has decided to keep him," says Garcia, pipping the Wigan owner to the announcement.
Rodgers and Hammerstein earworm alert: Newcastle United think there is etc and so on like Copenhagen striker Dame N'Doye. There, that'll be in there all day now.
Cristiano Ronaldo has attempted to put an end to rumours of a move to either Manchester United or Manchester City, by categorically stating he wants to finish his career at Real Madrid. Sadly, he's left open a small loophole for idiot journalists to exploit. "If it was up to me, I would stay at Real Madrid for the rest of my career. But it doesn't all depend on me."
Cristiano Ronaldo is a target for Manchester United and Manchester City.
In another never-ending, ear-splitting feedback loop, the papers are full of Juventus and Manchester City's interest in Robin van Persie. Arsenal have admitted that this could drag on all summer, so JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY is the only sane response to that.
Arsenal meanwhile want to wrap up a deal for France midfielder Yann M'Vila before Euro 2012, but the player wants to wait until after the tournament. Again, brace yourself for a repetitive metallic howl lasting the best part of two months.
Chris Hughton is a shoo-in to become the next manager of Norwich City, says everyone who had Roberto Martinez down for the Liverpool job, and Roberto Martinez down for the Aston Villa job.
And West Ham United, again shunted to the very bottom of the page in flagrant flaunting of established London football media codes, are interested in Wolves winger Michael Kightly.
Anyway, have a great day back at work. God bless you, you do a lovely job. Read More
انسخ الكود التالى و ضعه فى موقعك او مدونتك.
