Today's bunkum's name is its name
South of the border, west of the Sun, there is a little log cabin made of Norwegian wood. Here lived the Mill's beloved aunt, Madame Sosostris. It was to this beloved aunt that the Mill would be sent when the beloved parents would spend their beloved summers swanning around their beloved eastern shores of Lake Teletskoye, chinwagging with the beloved Altay people about the mating sounds of the local brand of beloved wild goat. It was in those annual thermogenic three months, under the great glazzballs of Madame Sosostris, that the Mill perchanced upon its powers of precognition, power that it now focuses fully on football and transfers to which, dear reader, we shall now turn.
Sir Alex Ferguson is going to continue with his stated on-the-record policy of only ever investing in youth by sending £12m spondulicks to Everton's current account in exchange for the 27-year-old fresh and fledgling full-back that is Leighton Baines. Kids these days are so nice and polite and shy and reserved and respectful and Baines is no different, which means he won't have the temerity to hand in a transfer request but will instead stand patiently in the corner, hands behind his back, while the Toffees' No1 suit slugs it out with his Manchester United equivalent over the deal. That £12m will then soon be squandered by Everton manager David Moyes on The Andrea True Connection's biggest fans, Landon Donovan and Steven Pienaar while Ferguson will balance the books and bench by ridding Old Trafford of Anderson.
Good news for Arsenal fans. The significant improvements in Arsène Wenger's side without Nicklas Bendtner are set to continue apace now that the so-called striker is definitely, positively, absolutely, categorically, youcanbelieveusonthisone, 173% certain not to return to the Emirates once his holidays in Poland and Ukraine are done. The Danish Under-17 player of the Year for 2004 will instead be operating his jewellery business from the city of Dortmund, where he will no doubt be attending the Sparkassen chess meeting which has been held in the city since 1973.
Also receiving a tin of Roses, a hastily scribbled card and a finger pointing in the direction of the Arsenal exit sign are the Carling Cup goalscoring sensation duo of Marouane Chamakh and Carlos Vela, the comedy goalkeeping pair Manuel Almunia and Lukasz Fabianski, and Denílson. With all those lads decamped elsewhere, there will be plenty of locker space in the Arsenal dressing room and on the substitute bench, and Wenger plans to fill the gaps with Blackburn's serial seven-goal-assister Junior Hoilett and Toulouse's Etienne Capoue.
After West Ham were kind enough to offer Ricardo Vaz Tê a route out of Yorkshire and back to civilization in the south, the striker-come-winger-come-haircut will do the honourable thing and shove two giant fingers under the noses of the east London club and stalk off in the direction of Portugal but only "if something came up". Other than that he wouldn't even dare to dream of such a move because, you know, he is "happy at West Ham." Happy like the way the Mill is when people shove their sour sock-smelling armpits in its face first thing in the morning on an overflowing Tube. Big Sam will replace Vaz Tê with Granada's Dani Benítez – "Dani would love to join a Premier League club," yodelled his Mr 15% – but the Hammers face stiff competition from Southampton and West Bromwich Albion.
And finally, Gareth Bale is not ... zzzzzzz. Eden Hazard might ... zzzzzzz. Edin Dzeko wants to ... zzzzzzz. Oh, and Matt Jarvis is off to Udinese. No really. Matt. Jarvis. Read More
انسخ الكود التالى و ضعه فى موقعك او مدونتك.
