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Today's fluff needs a holiday

Chelsea aren't going to rest on their laurels after their Champions League triumph. Like a high jumping nightclub DJ they want to clear the decks. Salomon Kalou, José Bosingwa and Didier Drogba are all heading for pastures new, while Roman Abramovich has a shopping list as long as Mr Tickle's arm.

Top of the list, if you don't include bin bags, marmite, Domestos and cornflakes, is Radamel Falcao. The Atlético Madrid striker will cost a cool £50m. Other options include Porto's Hulk, Real Madrid's Gonzalo Higuaín and Napoli's Edinson Cavani.

Having enviously watched Chelsea's Saturday cavorting from their chaise longue in Catalunya, Barcelona have decided a different South American full-back is the key to getting their hands back on the big trophy. They want Manchester City's rugged Argentinian macho man Pablo Zabaleta as a replacement for Dani Alves.

Real Madrid also want to shop on the aisles of the Premier League Superstore this summer. José Mourinho is keen on David Silva and Sergio Agüero. Real Madrid also want to swap the old new Claude Makélélé Lassana Diarra for the new old Enzo Scifo Luka Modric.

Tottenham may not be keen on that but they are keen on Ajax's Jan Vertonghen, who'll cost £15m, and Marseille striker Loïc Rémy, who'll set them back £22m.

QPR will celebrate their Premier League survival by handing Wigan £5m in exchange for Victor Moses, while Wolfsburg have revived their interest in Rangers' Adel Taarabt.

Good news for Arsenal fans: Juventus have ended their interest in Robin van Persie. Bad news for Liverpool fans/indifferent news for Manchester City fans: they will instead concentrate their efforts on Luis Suárez and/or Edin Dzeko.

And in the bit that nobody really reads, Blackpool want to keep Swansea's Stephen Dobbie, Swansea want Burnley's Chris McCann, and West Ham want Kieron Richardson of Sunderland and Craig Gordon formerly of Sunderland. Read More

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