Guardian readers present their verdicts on the season's performers – and it proves just what harsh markers you are
All season you have been awarding players marks out of 10 for their performances, and now the action has finished we have dusted off the calculator we normally only use for keeping tabs on Lionel Messi's latest goal tallies, done some sums and worked out a team of the season. And it looks like this:
GK: Michel Vorm, Swansea – 7.02
RB: Kyle Walker, Tottenham – 6.63
CD: Fabricio Coloccini, Newcastle – 6.83
CD: Vincent Kompany, Man City – 6.78
LB: José Enrique, Liverpool – 6.47
RM: Moussa Dembélé, Fulham – 6.72
CM: Luka Modric, Tottenham – 6.85
CM: Mikel Arteta, Arsenal – 6.80
LM: David Silva, Man City – 6.88
FC: Robin van Persie, Arsenal – 6.92
FC: Wayne Rooney, Man Utd – 6.87
The most striking aspect about this team is that it would probably do well if Sheikh Mansour decided it was worth assembling for real (although it perhaps lacks a little steel in midfield). The second most striking thing is that these players, the best in the land, haven't actually got very high marks. You will note that one of them, Liverpool's José Enrique, has snuck into our Premier League XI despite having an average rating of only 6.47 – a mark that, if extrapolated into a percentage, would only just scrape a grade C in some GCSE exams.
This, readers, is because you, or at least those of you who like to grade footballers, are exceptionally harsh markers. When Manchester United beat Arsenal 2-1 at the Emirates in January, a pretty good result whatever way you look at it, the Guardian readers' response was an emphatic "could do better" – seven of their players scored below 6 out of 10 and only Antonio Valencia got more than 6.5. You might have expected that Manchester City fans would have been unusually generous in their scoring after Sunday's match against Queens Park Rangers, what with having just won the league and everything, but instead two players got 6.8, one got 6.7, two more got 6.6 and poor Joleon Lescott received just 5.8.
In the same match Joey Barton's hideous meltdown brought him not only global ignominy but a Guardian score of 2.7 out of 10. It was bad – even Marton Fulop, the West Bromwich Albion goalkeeper who on the same day all but scored a hat-trick for their opponents, Arsenal, managed 2.9 – but we've seen worse. Johan Djourou's mark in Arsenal's 8-2 defeat at Old Trafford was a grisly 2.6, while John Terry's comedy display for Chelsea in their recent 4-1 defeat at Liverpool merited just 2.5. Jonny Evans ended up with 2.4 for his performance in Manchester United's 6-1 home humbling by City, the same score that Ronald Zubar got when his Wolves team lost 5-0 at home to United (Evans scored in that one, and got an 8.0). But pride of place in the hall of flame goes to Mario Balotelli, whose display at Arsenal seemed to have ended City's title aspirations and could easily have ended Alex Song's ability to walk, earning him just 2.3.
But the person we really pity is Clint Dempsey, a man who has just enjoyed the season of his life and still isn't the Fulham fans' favourite. This is a guy who can score a hat-trick against Champions League contenders – as he did when the Cottagers thumped Newcastle 5-2 back in January – and still emerge with nothing more than a 7.8. Quite what he's done to deserve this is any neutral's guess, as it is individual achievements of precisely that ilk that tend to earn the highest scores in our system.
So Steven Gerrard scored all three in Liverpool's derby win over Everton and got a 9.0, Papiss Cissé earned 9.1 for his sensational brace at Chelsea, Robin van Persie got 9.3 for his hat-trick at Chelsea, while Luis Suárez's brilliant trio against Norwich and Yakubu's four in a game against Swansea were both considered worthy of 9.5 out of 10. It's those at the very front and those at the very back who get almost all the glory here: a glance through each club's statistical players of the season finds 14 attack-minded folk basking in glory along with three goalkeepers, leaving a single defender (Stoke's Robert Huth) and a couple of guys who run about a lot (Everton's Marouane Fellaini and Bolton's Fabrice Muamba, who may have benefited – if benefit is a word that can be in any way applied to the cause of his absence – from missing the final stages of Bolton's stumble towards relegation).
With an average rating of just 5.67, Muamba has the unwanted distinction of being the worst best player of all – proof that, after the kind of season they've had, even Bolton's silver linings look tarnished.
Club by club
Arsenal: Robin van Persie – 6.92
Aston Villa: Shay Given – 6.53
Blackburn: Junior Hoilett – 6.22
Bolton: Fabrice Muamba – 5.67
Chelsea: Juan Mata – 6.66
Everton: Marouane Fellaini – 6.60
Fulham: Moussa Dembélé – 6.72
Liverpool: Luis Suárez – 6.76
Man City: David Silva – 6.88
Man Utd: Wayne Rooney – 6.87
Newcastle: Tim Krul – 6.87
Norwich: Wes Hoolahan – 6.71
QPR: Jamie Mackie – 6.35
Stoke: Robert Huth – 6.16
Sunderland: Stéphane Sessègnon – 6.23
Swansea: Michel Vorm – 7.02
Tottenham: Luka Modric – 6.85
West Brom: Shane Long – 6.49
Wigan: Victor Moses – 6.52
Wolves: Steven Fletcher – 5.78 Read More
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