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It's still goalless in Newcastle after an hour - Nigel de Jong has just come on, suggesting Yaya Toure is all set to deploy beast mode in the final 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, here's an opening gambit in our contest, uh, contest, from Rob Hawkes: "I came 5th in a 'hum the tune' competition at a hotel on holiday in Spain. There were 6 competitors - my proudest moment."
Pretty impressive stuff, Rob. Can anyone top that?
Here are your half-time scores:
Aston Villa 1-0 Tottenham
Bolton 1-0 West Brom
Fulham 2-1 Sunderland
QPR 0-0 Stoke City
Wolves 0-0 Everton
Rafael van der Vaart lashes one wide of Given's left hand post - a presentable chance. I have no understanding of how Villa are winning this game, but if the score stays the same, they will be safe, barring a mathematical miracle.
A fine, fine save from Shay Given, who claws Gareth Bale's close range strike wide of his right post. In Scotland, Dundee United have sewn up fourth place, and European football with a 1-0 win at home to Celtic.
GOAL! Fulham 2-1 Sunderland (Dembele 35) Back at Craven Cottage, Sunderland's sudden renewed interest in this season has lapsed. Dembele dances through a disinterested midfield, and fires Fulham back in front.
GOAL! Aston Villa 1-0 Tottenham (Clark 34) Good lord - Villa have looked desperate until now, but Ciaran Clark has unleashed a thunderbolt to give them the lead! From 30 yards out, he took a touch, and ballooned it into Friedel's net. Ridiculous. Villa are safe - and there's hope for Arsenal, Newcastle et al.
GOAL! Fulham 1-1 Sunderland (Bardsley 34) Sunderland are level, with a screamer from Phil Bardsley of all people after a flowing team move.
A not entirely necessary update:
Aston Villa 0-0 Tottenham
Bolton 1-0 West Brom
Fulham 1-0 Sunderland
QPR 0-0 Stoke City
Wolves 0-0 Everton
Meanwhile, you may have noticed that I'm not a regular here - I'm taking part as the proud winner of the Guardian's 'who wants to be an MBMer?' competition. So I'd like to ask you, the reader - have you ever won a contest? (and not in the Seinfeld way).
Somewhere in West London, Zamora is struggling against a predictably agricultural Stoke back line. At Villa Park, Spurs break at pace, but Cuellar hooks van der Vaart's cross out of the path of Adebayor.
GOAL! Bolton 1-0 West Brom (Petrov pen 24) No mistake from the Bulgarian - and Bolton are out of the bottom three at its stands. Over to Adel, Joey and co at Loftus Road.
PENALTY TO BOLTON! Mulumbu brings down Kevin Davies, and it's Martin Petrov who'll take it...
Modric has been hanging around the edge of the box all afternoon, and has a shot cleared for a corner. Over at Molineux, Wolves are keeping the, ahem, wolf from the door, but Everton are pressing pretty relentlessly.
Spurs are turning the screw against Villa - van der Vaart has a shot blocked by Alan Hutton. It's half-time at the Sports Direct - still goalless. City have 45 minutes to retain the advantage in the title race.
Bolton keep applying the pressure at the Reebok. Back at Villa Park, Heskey somehow wins a foot race with Kaboul, but the French defender's tackle is a good one.
GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Sunderland (Dempsey 12) First goal of the day - and it's a fiftieth Premier League for the erstwhile Clint Dempsey, with a rocket of a free kick. Seventeen for the season for the American. Seventeen!
Chance for Bolton - Petrov sidefoots a cross along the six-yard box, but neither Ngog or Davies could find a killer touch.
Fortune fluffs a decent chance for West Brom. Slow starts for QPR and Bolton, who both absolutely have to win today. Still no goals across these five games - or at St. James' Park. Villa pressing, looking reasonably up for it so far.
Adebayor swings a languid effort wide of Given's right-hand post. Spurs fan Garry Bacon has e-mailed in to claim his six-a-side team could beat a dispirited Villa today. As a member of said team, I can refute this wholeheartedly.
Francis Lee (presumably not that Francis Lee) has noted the pristine nature of the Villa Park pitch. "Has any football been played on it all this season?" he asks. I think we all know the answer to that one.
North of the border, it's Dundee United 1 Celtic 0 at half-time.
We're off. N'Zogbia fires one wide at Villa Park. Stoke with an early chance, Jerome missing a headed sitter by all accounts. Rangers need to learn to defend - and fast.
All five games are just moments away from kick-off. We'll keep you updated. How's everyone's nerves?
It's still Newcastle 0-0 Man City with quarter of an hour or so gone. Follow it here with Jacob Steinberg.
Ooh look, an e-mail:
Ali Kinnaird is first to my inbox, to let me know that 'Hey Niall' is trending on Twitter already. I know it's the guy from One Direction, it's not the first time - but I will take it all day long.
Fulham v Sunderland team news
Diarra replaces Kacaniklic for Fulham; Gardner and Ji come in for Martin O'Neill's side, with Campbell and Bendtner dropping to the bench.
Fulham (4-5-1): Schwarzer; Kelly, Hangeland, Hughes, John Arne Riise; Duff, Murphy, Diarra, Dempsey, Dembele; Pogrebnyak.
Subs: Stockdale, Baird, Kasami, Senderos, Frei, Kacaniklic, Trotta.
Sunderland (4-5-1): Mignolet; Bardsley, Turner, O'Shea, Kilgallon; McClean, Colback, Cattermole, Gardner, Sessegnon; Ji.
Subs: Westwood, Bridge, Campbell, Meyler, Bramble, Elmohamady,
Bendtner.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)
QPR v Stoke team news
Adel Taarabt is back for QPR - but Djibril Cisse will need to get off the bench if he wants to keep that red card run going. That's the only change for Mark Hughes' side. Tony Pulis has brought Thomas Sorensen into the team to give him a game ahead of Euro 2012, which seems a nice thing to do. Cameron Jerome and Ricardo Fuller come into an attacking Stoke side.
QPR (4-5-1): Kenny; Onuoha, Ferdinand, Hill, Taiwo; Barton, Derry, Buzsaky, Mackie, Taarabt; Zamora.
Subs: Cerny, Hall, Gabbidon, Bothroyd, Traore, Cisse, Wright-Phillips.
Stoke (4-4-2): Sorensen; Huth, Shawcross, Upson, Wilson; Walters, Whelan, Delap, Jerome; Crouch, Fuller.
Subs: Begovic, Jones, Whitehead, Etherington, Shotton, Woodgate, Palacios.
Referee: Andre Marriner (W Midlands)
Aston Villa v Spurs team news
Richard Dunne returns to the fray for Villa, whilst Chris Herd keeps his place despite the fracas at the club's Player of the Year awards. Emile Heskey will lead the line, Andreas Weimann dropping to the bench. Harry hasn't changed a thing from Spurs' 4-1 win at Bolton, and why would he?
Aston Villa: Given; Hutton, Cuellar, Dunne, Warnock; Lichaj,
Herd, Clark, N'Zogbia, Ireland; Heskey.
Subs: Guzan, Collins, Delfouneso, Bannan, Weimann, Gardner, Carruthers.
Tottenham: Friedel; Dawson, Gallas, Kaboul, Rose; Lennon,
Sandro, Modric, Bale, Van der Vaart; Adebayor.
Subs: Cudicini, Parker, Saha, Giovani, Defoe, Livermore, Nelsen.
Referee: Lee Probert (Wiltshire)
Wolves v Everton team news
Stephen Hunt and Zubar replace Foley and Jarvis in the Wolves line-up. James McFadden earns a rare start for Everton, taking the place of Victor Anichebe.
Wolverhampton (4-4-2): De Vries; Zubar, Stearman, Berra, Ward; Kightly, Henry, Edwards, Hunt; Doyle, Fletcher. Subs: Ikeme, Elokobi,
Ebanks-Blake, Johnson, Milijas, Jonsson, Forde.
Everton (4-5-1): Howard; Hibbert, Heitinga, Jagielka, Distin; McFadden, Cahill, Osman, Pienaar, Fellaini; Jelavic. Subs: Mucha,
Stracqualursi, Gueye, Barkley, Coleman, Duffy, Baxter.
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)
Bolton v West Brom team news
Bolton are unchanged from their 4-1 midweek defeat to Spurs. West Brom are without Jerome Thomas and Peter Odemwingie through injury; Keith Andrews and Marc-Antoine Fortune step into the breach.
Bolton(4-4-2):Bogdan; Boyata, Wheater, Ream, Ricketts; Eagles, Reo-Coker, Mark Davies, Petrov; Kevin Davies, Ngog. Subs: Jaaskelainen, Alonso, Knight, Klasnic, Lee, Miyaichi, Vela.
West Brom (4-4-2):Foster; Jones, McAuley, Olsson, Ridgewell; Brunt, Mulumbu, Andrews, Dorrans; Fortune, Long. Subs: Fulop, Morrison, Allan, Shorey, Dawson, Cox, Scharner.
Referee: Kevin Friend (Leicestershire)
Preamble: Someone once said that all good things must come to an end. 'Good' seems an overly broad synopsis for a season that has so often been freakish (United 8-2 Arsenal, United 1-6 City, Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal etc etc), heartwarming (Norwich & Swansea mixing it in the Premier League, Torres' park football style game killer in the Nou Camp) and highly controversial (not going there). This season has, at least in my opinion, been terrific, one of the best in recent memory, but sadly it's about to turn it in for the summer.
With two rounds of fixtures left, the titanic Mancunian title dust-up that's raged since August may edge towards a final resolution this afternoon. Elsewhere, there's plenty left to be decided in today's five other top flight games (all kicking off at 2pm):
Aston Villa v Tottenham
Bolton v West Brom
Fulham v Sunderland
QPR v Stoke City
Wolves v Everton
Like a slow episode of Homeland, by the end of today we may not have all the answers, but we can take a pretty good guess. Either QPR or Bolton will be deep in the filth if they fail to win and the other can capitalise. If both win, Steve Kean will need to work out how to put a positive spin on Championship football - Rovers, who play Wigan tomorrow night, will need six points from six to survive.
Wins for Bolton and QPR would also strike fear into the hearts of Aston Villa fans, who may be grateful for an emotion other than boredom and irritation. Just two seasons ago, Villa travelled to what is now the Etihad for a Champions League six pointer in the first week of May. Lose today, and they could be out of the bottom three on goal difference only.
A Spurs win would add a modicum of certainty to the cloudy Champions League qualification picture. Spurs, rejuvenated by Harry staying put, will move a point clear of Arsenal and into third. Win at home to Fulham next week, and they'll be safely into the group stages, leaving their North London neighbours likely cheering on Bayern Munich on May 19th.
There's a lot less riding on the ties at Craven Cottage and Molineux, but there'll be interest none of the less - Fulham, third in the form table, can overtake Liverpool with a win, whilst Wolves will endeavour to earn a first victory under the beleaguered Terry Connor. They'll have to stop newly anointed Player of the Month Nikica Jelavic from adding to his eight goals since January. I don't like those odds.
And finally, Djibril Cisse will look to continue his goal-red card-goal streak (he needs, if that's the right word, a red card today), whilst Roy Hodgson returns to the West Brom bench, whistling the theme tune to the Great Escape. It's all happening. Read More
انسخ الكود التالى و ضعه فى موقعك او مدونتك.
