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Today's grind is coming from inside the box ...

Ideas are at a premium these days. Original thought is on the way out. The cinemas are full of remakes and sequels; the hit parade a procession of recycled sounds pumped through what sounds like a car exhaust made, it would seem, for the sole purpose of causing pain and suffering to our brain box if we so much as try and step near a High Street fashion retailer, which there is probably no point in doing anyway as all they are doing is regurgitating old styles you could just as easily create if you were to go rooting through those boxes in your grandfather's attic.

So, in short, we live time devoid of original thought and creativity rests in the leafy corner of a graveyard somewhere next to bus queues and the rotary phone.

We should be thankful then for the transfer rumour industry, a place where you will find the modern day equivalents of Watson and Crick, Phil Spector or Brian Wilson. How else would they have come up with today's stunning, never-seen-before, revelation that, eh, Manchester City want Gareth Bale and are willing to sling 40 million quid at Tottenham and let them choose a number of players off the set menu or one from the a la carte to sweeten the deal?

Liverpool are interested in signing Fulham's Clint Dempsey and we have the quotes to prove it. Or more to the point the Mirror have the quotes but thanks the miracle of copy and paste we can bring to you.

"We never talk publicly about our transfer targets, however, any team would be lucky to have Clint Dempsey playing on their squad," the Liverpool chairman Tom Werner said, simultaneously speaking and not speaking about a specific transfer target. But we should never ever be too harsh on Werner, the most creative of all Premier League chairman, for who, among his peers, can claim to be responsible for anything anywhere near as important as Mork and Mindy and Taxi?

Roman Abramovich hasn't given up hope of persuading José Mourinho to ditch La Liga winners Real Madrid and return to Chelsea. Except that if you read another daily paper you will have woken up to the news that Abramovich has, in fact, ditched the idea of luring Mourinho back to Stamford Bridge and will instead stand outside Pep Guardiola's window playing the violin and insisting that he won't return to London with out him. Either that or he'll just throw bundles of cash at him like he's done with everyone else.

In other exciting coach news, Roy Hodgson will tell Stuart Pearce to do one from the England first-team coaching set-up and go back to Team GB, whoever they are, and will instead appoint Ray Lewington as his No2. Alan Shearer may also come into the reckoning.

Good news and bad news for Arsenal: Thomas Vermaelen has emerged as a target for Real Madrid, while André Santos could hightail it back to Brazil to Botafogo.

Arsenal are going to duke it out on three fronts with north London rivals Tottenham – the three fronts being Junior Hoilett, Jan Vertonghen and Eden Hazard.

But, according to the French press, Lille schemer and Mill staple Hazard has turned into a six-year-old boy deciding which clubn he wants to support and will wait and see which one of Manchester City or United wins the league and will go there. Or maybe he should just join whoever his older brother plays for.

Chelsea are going all German and plan to follow up the signing of Marko Marin with a £15.5m for Bayer Leverkusen's André Schürrle.

Newcastle and Reading want Barnsley's Jacob Butterfield and nothing but the most creative of mind could possibly have come up with that.


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