The destiny of today's tell-all is out of its own hands
Some men won't shake hands, another man will be allowed lift a trophy in a certain place at a certain time if his teams wins it and another man might resign from a high profile management job everyone knew he was thinking about walking away from anyway.
With so much Big News jockeying for position on the back pages of newspapers the length and breadth of the UK the day after Europa League semi-finalists Athletic Bilbao and Sporting Clube de Portugal served up one of the most exhilarating football romps you'll ever see (the massively entertaining Basque side, who humiliated Manchester United twice in the last 16, emerged victorious), the Rumour Mill was pessimistic about the chances of there being much room left for transfer speculation, but was pleasantly surprised by what it found.
What with nothing of particular interest having happened at the Leveson Inquiry, where Rupert Murdoch has nervously smirked, smeared and squirmed through the past couple of days, the Sun (proprietor: Rupert Murdoch) has for the second day in a row devoted its front page to a story involving a young unmarried footballer who may or may not have slept with somebody who isn't his girlfriend. Big news.
Meanwhile in the tabloid's back pages, it's revealed that plucky Champions League finalists Chelsea are prepared to splurge £35m on Real Madrid's Argentinian striker Gonzalo Higuain, who is being shipped out of the Bernabeu by Jose Mourinho to make room for Manchester City's Argentinian striker Sergio Agüero.
The Sun also reports that Manchester City plan to "snatch" 21-year-old Lille midfielder Eden Hazard, a man who has become such a Rumour Mill regular that if this column were a pub he'd have has his own pewter pint-pot hanging behind the bar, from "under Sir Alex Ferguson's nose". "He's a good player, he's young and he would do great things in our team," said Mancini, who will face competition from all of Europe's biggest hitters and Tottenham Hotspur in his attempts to secure the scrawl of the Belgian playmaker.
Everton and Newcastle will go toe-to-toe and slug it out in a contest to see who can land Wigan Athletic's Senegalese midfielder Mohamed Diamé, who is available on a free transfer this summer. With Newcastle manager Alan Pardew likely to be able to offer Diame more money and possibly the prospect of Champions League football, the odds would appear to be stacked in his favour, but his Everton counterpart David Moyes is a Glaswegian who today's Rumours reckon might fight dirty if necessary.
According to the Daily Mail, Blackburn winger Junior Hoilett is wanted by Sunderland, Bayern Munich and Marseille, a state of affairs that would suggest he'll be playing his football in Germany or France next season. In news that may well prompt a series of shoulder shrugs from most fans of Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool, Udinese defender Pablo Armero is being courted by suits from both clubs. If you don't know much about him, he's a Colombian 25-year-old with a reasonably decent left peg.
Just when it seemed that Salomon Kalou was finally establishing himself as a Chelsea regular, it seems AC Milan are ready to sneak up behind him, throw a bag over his head, bundle him into the back of a car and spirit him away to the San Siro. Arsenal will do much the same thing, except their target is Rennes midfielder Yann M'Vila, who's been linked with the Gunners for so long on this page that he's almost certain to prove an underwhelming purchase when he eventually pitches up at the Emirates.
Having realised that a dour, occasionally uncommunicative Scotsman may not be the ideal manager for them, Aston Villa will hand Alex McLeish his P45 at the end of the season and replace him with Norwich City boss Paul Lambert. In rather more mouth-watering news relating to the managerial merry-go-round, should Pep Guardiola end up calling it a day at Camp Nou, Barcelona will turn to their outgoing gaffer's bespectacled, obsessive, pot-bellied and eccentric hero, Athletic Bilbao manager Marcelo 'El Loco' Bielsa, just to see what happens next.
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