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Today's fluff doesn't want to sleep. Today's fluff just wants to keep on loving you

Over the last couple of months, it's been quite revealing to see how well Chelsea's players have done now they don't have a high-profile fall guy to cower behind when things are going awry. Despite all this, the club are still looking to appoint a big-name manager for next season. Roberto Di Matteo, who has quietly nudged the Blues to two cup finals, is obviously not fancy or flash enough for the wily west London outfit, and is at the bottom of a list behind Pep Guardiola, Joachim Löew and Uncle Barry Cobbleigh, Tom's less popular brother. A great long-term plan, Chelsea, right up there with sacking José and building the East Stand.

Stable door operator Randy Lerner will sack former Birmingham and Rangers boss Jonah McLeish if, and more probably when, the hapless manager leads Aston Villa into the Championship. We're not sure anyone's that fussed who takes over, they just want rid.

Manchester United and Manchester City are interested in Eden Hazard. They'll both offer Lille £30m for the 21-year-old attacking midfielder. Tottenham Hotspur are also planning to put together a package consisting of Sebastien Bassong and Giovani dos Santos as a swap, which does rather suggest they're not 100% serious.

Manchester United are also planning to snatch Sao Paulo attacking midfielder Lucas, 19, from under the nose of Real Madrid boss José Mourinho, who may or may not give a flying one any more.

In the final part of today's Old Trafford triptych, Danny Welbeck will sign a new £2.5m a year deal with Manchester United. No, the Rumour Mill isn't really interested in contract extension talks either, but it's not our place to censor the news.

Manchester City are after a pair of strikers. Napoli's Edinson Cavani and Athletic Bilbao's Fernando Llorente will have to do.

Occasional Champions League TV pundit Michel Salgado doesn't have anything to do now his former club Real Madrid are out of the competition and his current employers Blackburn Rovers appear increasingly unlikely to make fourth spot, so he's off to LA Galaxy to hang around with David Beckham instead.

And Liverpool's latest wheeze: sending Andy Carroll out on loan next season. But where? That hasn't been thought through yet, which is at least consistent with the way the Reds have conducted the rest of their project with the player.


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